An Angry Little Slice Of Pie
by zoopdedo
Summary: To the episode "Catch and Release". SPOILER INFO. Let's face it, a certain little obnoxious emerald colored gem just got ten times cuter after this episode. An intense fluffy oneshot between Peridot and the Crystal Clods.


**Eh, I try my best..**

 **._.**

* * *

It's been five days.

And here I sit. Doomed by none other than those…Crystal Clods. Stupid. Idiots. Morons.

Just –ugh! Why won't they leave me alone?! Leave me be in the solitude of my cold confinement with these...strange mechanics. Swirling bowls of water to pipes leaking the chemical H2o. All proving to be efficient less in my opinion.

And then there's that Steven. The strange being that refuses to stop bothering me. Always visiting me and bringing me these strange fluffed toys. Apparently, they're supposed to bring me comfort during my nights of being curled up against the wall, utterly trapped in my supposedly "safe" refuge as I listen to the unmistakable shuffles and mumbles of those Crystal Gems guarding the exit.

Simpletons. Dimwitted nincompoops. Imbeciles.

"Ohhhhh Perrridooot…"

Oh great. It's her again. Fantastic.

"Peeeridot. Wittle ickle bitty Periii. You beshtesht friend Shteven's here to shhheeee yyyoooou…"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her obnoxious accent. Of course, her rude behavior wasn't surprising. She was a Gem of the Kindergarten after all.

"Coming," I grumbled, standing from my stiff position and waddling over to the door. Without even bothering to check, I cracked the door open, waiting for the boy to squeeze in as always.

That was my first mistake.

The door came flying open, smashing onto my face and crushing onto my nose. I immediately backed away from the door, hands blindly reaching up to grope at my pained face and eyes watering automatically at the sting. Soon, the back of my feet connected with the side of the tub, causing me to trip backwards and land heavily into it.

"AGH! S-Steven! That…ungh! What are y-" Then I actually looked up. At them. Those…those morons! Those really _really_ scary looking morons.

"Peridot," the Garnet nearly growled, gauntlets already summoned and raised. "You've been forcing Steven to relieve himself in the ocean for the past five days. We've given you plenty of time for consultation. Now, we do it _our_ way."

"Yes Peridot," the Pearl added in, her shadow coming ominously over me as she approached my fallen position. "Were not playing games anymore. Time for the real "negotiations" to begin.

 _Negotiations?_

I reached a hand up to my nose, swiping a finger over the numbing area. I brought the finger back down. We had only once been taught of this in Crystal Gem Academy since it was so rare to actually occur. This –oozing substance. Icarus. Parallel to the liquid drawn by humans when hurt. And it was everywhere, the blue fluid leaking out of my nose and dripping from my chin to the tubs flooring.

 _Oh my stars._

Tied down by the diamond rope, shocked by my own electricity. Pulled down with such force, my shoulder slamming into the ground with a sickening crunch.

 _Discussions._

Surrounded by the three of them, weapons all at hand and ready to do their worst. Eyes trained on the prize, plea's completely ignored.

 _Interrogation._

The icy hands of demise closing around my torso, squeezing at me with such a force. Breath thrusted out from my makeshift lungs, a searing pain, and then...

 _ **Torture**_ **.**

"Tie her up Amethyst. And be quick. Steven will be back soon."

I glanced fearfully up at her, that accursed bored expression of hers as she approached me, whip in hand and tugging at it playfully. Truly –and utterly–terrifying.

"W-wait!" I raised a fearful hand up. "I'll talk! I'll tell you everything! Everything you want to know!" I was breathing heavily, nervous sweat droplets forming faster as the three of them froze in place. Looking back at the fusion with the same equally uninterested expression, the Amethyst waited for an answer.

"Well? We got her in the bathtub and freaked out and all. Let's just let her spill the beans here," she glanced back at me, a small hint of pity in that violet gaze. "I seriously doubt she's gonna try anything."

 _Oh please oh please oh please oh please just listen to her!_

The Garnet was staring intently at me, her shades probably being the only thing from keeping her gaze from burning a hole right through me.

"No." That strange uncomfortable sensation rose in my chest again as I flinched at her word. "It's too risky. We need to make sure she's telling the truth." Whatever pity there was in the Amethyst quickly dissolved at the "wise" words of her leader. She raised her whip again, ready to tie me up as the defenseless gem I am.

And –I felt something snap in me. Something…weird. Unscientific. Unempirical. The feeling of irrationality.

 _I_ am Peridot. Weak. Short. Defenseless little Peridot. _I_ am outmatched, one to three. Fragile. Delicate. Frail to the gem. Easily beaten. A cheating _insignificant_ little twerp. _I_ am scared. Frightened. Terrified. And just so – _pathetic_.

But then, I saw it. I looked up, and as if in slow motion, I reacted. Instinct. A term buried deep in the books all Peridots were required to learn by heart.

I, Peridot 126, have successfully developed the skill instinct. Give me a medal if you will.

I dodged the whip, it smashing into the wall of tub at where my body had been only seconds ago and splaying chips and cracks of the material all over the Gems. Without another second at thought, I sprang to my feet and leaped out from the tub, dodging at the outstretched hand of a gauntlet and barely sidestepping the tackle of the Pearl. Hard pants were escaping through my lips as I finally reached the exit, slamming the door behind me and taking off through the house.

"Ah HA ha HA!" I wheezed, sprinting at full length to the front door. "Almost…*gasp*…THERE! For the love of Yellow Diamond –almost the-" Then there was the unmistakable sound of a whip being drawn back.

"Oof!" my breath was pulled out from me as I was yanked back by the coiling rope, landing my face first on the ground.

"No," I moaned as the thumping of their footsteps came closer and closer. "Please no! I'll t-tell you what you want! I'll say it all! Just don't hurt me!"

"…yo," the Amethyst whispered, her white boot now at my eyesight. "What's she talking about?"

The Pearl's slender feet then came up next to her. I could feel her gaze burning into my back. "I'm not exactly sure…"

I struggled, naturally, at the bond, the diamond rocks on the whip leaving uncomfortable aches as I moved. Inch by inch, I managed to scoot forward, not in the right of mind to realize that I would never get anywhere.

And they watched me crawl. Probably examining my struggle with a sense of humor. Observing with a sense of glee as their prey slowly attempted to crawl away. Then I reached the wall. The obstruction. Just beyond this barricade happened to be freedom. My freedom.

With a bit of struggle, I turned over and sat up, scooting frantically backwards until my back was pressed firmly against the wall and knees tucked closely into my chest. They watched me with a sort of awkward manner, eye contact never leaving mine while carefully approaching me.

"Now Peridot," the Garnet finally said, raising both hands and dissipating her weapons. "We just wanted to make some negotia-"

"No! N-no please!"

"Peridot," the Pearl sighed. "Were not going to hurt you. We just want to talk."

I pressed my back further into the splintery wall as the two taller Gem's stepped further towards me, the Amethyst observing from a distance at the situation with farce. I felt a strangled noise gather in my throat as they were now only inches away from me, their shadows looming over my body.

"G-get away from me you clods!" I found myself to be shaking, trembling for a better explanation. I tried unsuccessfully again to break from the rubber like whip. "Don't you _dare_ touch me!"

The Garnet bent down, my dismayed visage being reflected back to me.

And by the stars of all universe. I saw myself. Green colored epidermis gone lime pale. My sweat matted hair and grime covered cheeks. A dull green gaze compelling with wide and petrified eyes, having completely given up on hope as the fusions hand made its way towards me. I felt a strange prickling sensation in my eyes and shut them tight. A strange liquid rolled down my cheek.

I flinched immediately as something came into contact with my cheek, gently rubbing with her finger at the right side of my head. "Calm down," her voice soothed as her hand came to rest under my chin, bringing it up. "Open your eyes, and look at me."

 _Oh MA stars. She's…she –the fusion…barbaric savaging beast…reassuring? This isn't –I shouldn't be feeling this…_

I obeyed though. Slowly. After taking deep gulps of unnecessary air, my eyelids fluttered open. She was smirking softly. "See? Were not gonna hurt you. We _just_ want to talk."

"B-but…" I found myself on the verge of blubbering, not being able to form comprehensible sentences. "The…whip? A-and…nose h-hurt. Negotiations is…t-tactical. T-t-tortu-ure…"

"Woah! Torture!?" The Amethyst began cackling loudly. "Oh ho HO! Tell that to Steven when he comes back! Torture!" she dropped to her knees, then to her side and began rolling around. "That's great! Imagine! HA HA! Us! Doing –BWA HA HAA…"

"Peridot," ignoring her comrade's hysterical laughter, the Pearl came down to kneel as the Garnet removed her warm hand from my chin. She gave me that knowing look before continuing. "Were not going to torture you. It was Stevens's idea to plan this, ahm, discussion with you. While he went to get ready, he endured us with the task to get you out from your sanctuary. Soooo…since you obviously weren't going to get out no matter what we offered, it was decided that force would be the best answer," she cocked her head and gave a timid smile. "Hence, the whip. And…your nose. Sorry about that by the way. Here…" with a flash of light, she brought out a handkerchief from her gem and pressed the soft material against my throbbing nose. "There," she said with satisfaction as she wiped off all the Icarus. "All better." And with a flick of her wrist, the handkerchief disappeared.

"I…" I could feel my vocals increasing in voice as the strange prickling sensation in my eyes continued, fluid now streaming freely down. There was relief, but also evident confusion and distress. "But –but I…I don't understand -"

"Shh," she quickly cut off, taking a slender finger and pressing it to my lips. I felt slightly disgusted at this act, but it soon faded away as she wiped at the liquid from my eyes with her thumb, providing me with an odd sense of comforting. "There's no need to cry anymore Peridot."

 _What is this…"cry"?_

"Amethyst," the Pearl called over her shoulder. "Get rid of the whip. I don't think she's going to try anything. Right Garnet?"

Silence. Then, "Right."

And that was that. The rope became undone just as the front door slammed open, revealing a grinning Steven holding a bag of some sort.

"You guys got her out!" he cried happily, rushing over to me and checking me up and down. His expression seemed to fall as he spotted my current crawled up position and drying liquid from the whole 'cry' incident.

"Are you okay Peridot? Did something happen? Wait! Never mind if something did! Because I have something that will change everything!" He sat down in front of me, crossing his legs and beginning to rummage through his white bag. The other Gem's seemed to take the hint, sitting in a circle formation next to myself and him. "Aaaaannnd…here it is!"

What he pulled out seemed to be an…essence…of some sort? A solid, that was a fact at least. Immediately at taking it out, the whole area was engulfed in the smell of an unknown odor. Almost having the scent of Gem ship fuel except...sweeter?

"IT'S A PIE!" he exclaimed with stars in his eyes. "The Big Doughnut was giving them out for free! So…I was like, why not right? Here," he shuffled through the bag and brought out a miniature pitchfork, stabbing it into this… 'pie'….material, and cutting it into an uneven triangle.

Utter and dismayed…confusion. Pi does not have a form. It is an infinite number of 3.1415926535897...

"Oh Steven," the Pearl gasped, leaning over and taking hold of the pie and pitchfork, gently tugging it out of his hands. "Here, let me do it. You're getting crumbs all over yourself."

Strange, intricate behavior. Almost fascinating in a way.

Once the 'pie' had been cut, a triangle piece was distributed out to each being, including me apparently. I gave him a confused look after observing the pitchfork stabbed into the substance. What was I supposed to do with it?

"You eat it!" he happily stated before shoving the brown substance into his gaping mouth. "It'sh good!"

 _…revolting._

I looked over at all the Gems. The Garnet was now munching gracefully at her slice. The Amethyst had already stuck the remaining 'pie' and its container into her mouth, chewing loudly at the material. And the Pearl…wasn't eating at all. I was tempted to request a pass at this assignment of…eating the 'pie' as the Pearl did –but decided against it at seeing the Stevens animated expression.

Because…I _suppose_ I do owe him this much.

And so, I grasped at the small pitchfork, its strange engineering way foreign to the hold of my hand. After a moment of fiddling with the handle, I finally adjusted it to a comfortable position.

"Like this?" I quizzed curiously, almost feeling eager at this task at hand.

"Ya! You're doing great! Now, use the fork to cut off a slice of the pie."

I looked down at the mushy substance. Interesting. I stabbed downwards and tore off the pointed tip of the triangle, gathering it onto my pitchfork and balancing it.

"Now what?"

"Now," after doing the same procedure as me. "You stick it in your mouth," stuffing the piece into his mouth and beginning to chew, "and eat'ch it'ch!"

I glanced down uneasily at the solid substance. It was just so…unknown. So mysterious to me –just as this planet was. To Homeworld more importantly. What would Yellow Diamond do to me if she found out what I was doing? The methods of my thinking? This newly gained knowledge of concepts unknown to Homeworld culture? The senses I've been unintentionally feeling and developing? Forbidden taboos I may have possibly been practicing?

And now…from all this…some sort of –contentment?

I brought the pie into my mouth.

* * *

 **Sooo...what happens after you eat that pie Peridot? Heh he...**

 **.-.**


End file.
